Motivation is a force that drives us to take action. Whether it’s to chase our dreams or to escape a painful situation, every choice we make is motivated by something. Understanding this dynamic is key to achieving more effective, consistent results. The truth about motivation lies in recognizing the two primary forces that drive it—push and pull—and the transformative power of embracing impermanence.
Push Motivation: The Force of Avoiding Pain
What is Push Motivation?
“Push” motivation is rooted in our desire to avoid pain or discomfort. It operates on the “away from” spectrum, meaning we are motivated to take action in order to move away from an existing or anticipated negative situation. For example, someone may feel pushed to lose weight because of the discomfort of poor health or to leave a toxic job because of mental and emotional stress.
Pain, whether physical or emotional, can be a potent motivator. We often find ourselves driven by the urgent need to escape suffering. This type of motivation is highly reactive and powerful in the short term. The moment the pain diminishes, however, so does the urgency to act.
The Cycle of Push Motivation
When we act out of push motivation, we are often seeking immediate relief. The goal becomes to eliminate the source of pain, and once it’s gone, the motivation weakens. Consider the example of someone starting a fitness routine after receiving a health scare. The motivation is high while the fear is fresh, but as the person starts to feel better, the urgency to maintain those healthy habits may diminish. This is a common cycle—once the pain subsides, so does the action.
The Limits of Push Motivation
While powerful, push motivation has its limitations. It’s often reactive, meaning it only kicks in when things have already reached a tipping point of discomfort. Additionally, people tend to act more vigorously to cure present pain than to prevent future discomfort. This explains why preventive measures, such as regular exercise or a healthy diet, are harder to maintain over time unless a deeper, more proactive source of motivation is tapped into.
Preventative action is notoriously hard to sustain. Many revert to old habits even after experiencing significant life events like health scares or personal setbacks. The challenge is that push motivation only serves us for as long as the pain or fear remains present.
Pull Motivation: The Power of Desire
What is Pull Motivation?
“Pull” motivation, in contrast to push, is about moving toward something we deeply desire. It’s the pursuit of a meaningful goal, an aspiration, or a dream that draws us closer to a better version of ourselves. Unlike push motivation, which is fueled by the avoidance of pain, pull motivation is driven by positive emotions—hope, excitement, ambition, and curiosity.
Pull motivation can be long-term, and it often involves the pursuit of things that bring us joy, fulfillment, and personal growth. It could be the quest to complete a marathon, build a successful business, or learn a new skill that excites us. It’s about actively seeking experiences that inspire us to grow and achieve something meaningful.
The Benefits of Pull Motivation
The beauty of pull motivation lies in its sustainability. It’s proactive, allowing us to set long-term goals and milestones that keep us engaged and fulfilled. Pull motivation can provide a sense of purpose and joy in the process, not just in the outcome.
For instance, imagine someone with a goal of hiking the Appalachian Trail. The journey itself—preparing, training, and experiencing the adventure—becomes part of the motivation. Every step taken toward the goal brings excitement and a sense of accomplishment, regardless of the final destination.
Moreover, pull motivation encourages growth. Each achieved goal can lead to the development of new aspirations, creating a cycle of ongoing personal development. Even if the quest is never fully completed, the process of striving toward something meaningful becomes rewarding in itself.
Staying on the Pull Spectrum
Staying motivated through the pull spectrum requires identifying what truly inspires us. It’s important to find goals that align with our values and passions. When we do, the journey becomes as fulfilling as the destination.
One of the greatest advantages of pull-based motivation is that it creates a sense of emotional reinforcement. Progress becomes its own reward, as we move closer to the object of our desire, gaining satisfaction from each small victory along the way. It’s not dependent on an external pain to push us forward, making it a more enduring and sustainable source of motivation.
The Role of Death: Embracing Impermanence
Death as a Motivational Tool
While push and pull motivations are rooted in avoiding pain or seeking pleasure, there’s a deeper, existential motivator that many fail to acknowledge—the awareness of our own impermanence. It may sound morbid at first, but reflecting on the reality of death can provide immense clarity and motivation.
The Dalai Lama is said to meditate on death six times a day, and Steve Jobs famously shared in his Stanford Graduation speech how the thought of death influenced his decisions. He remarked:
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life…Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
The Liberating Effect of Impermanence
When we confront the reality of our limited time on earth, it strips away the unimportant things—fear of failure, external expectations, or the opinions of others. What truly matters comes into sharper focus. It helps us identify the goals, dreams, and actions that align with our authentic selves.
Death, in this sense, becomes a liberating force that removes the trivial concerns and frees us to pursue what truly brings us joy and fulfillment. When you realize that time is finite, there’s less hesitation to act on your deepest desires and pursue the dreams that pull you forward. By accepting our impermanence, we can cultivate a stronger, more enduring source of pull-based motivation.
Finding Your Place on the Motivation Spectrum
Are You Pushed or Pulled?
As you reflect on your own motivations, consider where you fall on the push-pull spectrum. Are you driven more by a desire to escape pain, or are you pulled forward by a meaningful goal? There’s no right or wrong answer, but understanding your primary motivators can help you make more conscious decisions.
If you find that push-based motivation is ruling your life, you might want to explore ways to cultivate more pull-based goals that bring you fulfillment. On the other hand, if pull motivation is already guiding your actions, take a moment to ensure that the goals you’re chasing truly align with your values and desires.
What’s Next?
If you’re unhappy with what’s motivating your current behavior, ask yourself: What can I do to create more pull in my life? What goals or aspirations truly inspire me? What can I change to live more authentically, freed from the trivial concerns that push-based motivation often brings?
Honoring impermanence can provide the final nudge to start living a more purposeful and fulfilling life. Let go of what doesn’t matter, and focus on what truly pulls you forward.
Conclusion: Embrace Both Push and Pull
Ultimately, both push and pull motivations play essential roles in our lives. Push helps us address urgent problems, while pull allows us to pursue long-term goals. The key is balance—recognizing when to use each force and embracing the idea that our time is limited. By understanding and mastering these sources of motivation, we can live more consciously, productively, and meaningfully.